Thankful in so many ways...

Happy Thanksgiving! I know I am a day late but its never to late to say what your thankful...right? :)
I have SO much to be thankful for this year.

I am so thankful for my husband. He has been my rock this year. Thank you Jon for holding me, comforting me when I was down, coming to my rescue no matter where you are when I am emotionally broken, telling me everyday (especially when I needed to hear it the most) how good of a mom I am. Not sure where I would be if I didn't have you in my life.

I am so thankful for my children. I am truly amazed on how strong, smart, independent, happy and loving you both are. Brayden you make my heart melt every time time you grab my face to kiss me and tell me you love me. I love how much of a momma's boy you are :) Ethan...where do I start! You are only 5 months old and you are the strongest person I know. When I am feeling down I think about how truly amazing/strong you are...how nothing pulls you down! You have been through so much yet you smile ALL THE time. I am in love with my boys! ( I could go on but I am already in tears :) )

I am thankful for our family! My parents and brother... Thank you for everything you have done to help us. Thank you for listening to me when I needed you...and coming to the hospital with me when I didn't want to be by myself. Even though I am 28... I still need you guys! I love you guys!!!
Thankful for my mother in law who goes out of her way to bring me lunch when should knows I probably wont have time, for being there when we need you and for the emotional support! My Sis in law sister who drives 45 min just to come hug me if I need it. I love you...

I am so thankful for my friends!! The ones I have had since I was a little girl to the new ones I have made these past few months. Thank you for Listening to me as cry! Dropping everything to help my family. For the giftcards when Ethan was in hospital (my amazing friends from my moms group!), for checking up on me, for helping me take my mind off of everything. For watching Brayden when I needed a babysitter...list goes on!

I am also so thankful for the people who read my blog, who keep my family in their thoughts and prayers! I know there are so many people out there that I do not know personally but who keep Ethan in their prayers everyday. I have received cards and emails from people just to let me know they think about us. You have no idea what that means to us. To know people all of the world keep Ethan in their prayers...literally around the world. They mentioned Ethan in a special mass in rome...seriously he has so many people behind him helping him everyday! You have no idea how thankful we are for you guys!

I am so thankful for Millers Children hospital and all the amazing doctors and nurses in the NICU. You are the reason I have an amazing little ex preemie in my life. Thank you so much...we became close to a few nurses and one doctor...you guys helped Jon and I get through something so difficult and you helped keep our head up! I will forever be thankful!

I am truly blessed and sad that it took something like this for me to really realize how lucky I am.

Fight for Preemies..Prematurity Awareness Day!

The day that I found out I was pregnant, was an amazing day. My best friend found out she was pregnant on the same day...we spent the whole day planning on how to tell the husbands when they got home. I envisioned the birthday, holding my baby, kissing the little face and how I would introduce the baby to the big brother. None of that happened. My "perfect" pregnancy came crashing down the thursday before I had Ethan. That is the day I learned this pregnancy was high risk. I was told that I might end up on bedrest soon and the chances of pre term labor goes up a bit. Little did I know (and my doctor) that the following night I would start with contractions and be rushed to the operating on Tuesday. (More on the birth story soon...i promise)

He didn't get that perfect birthday! I didn't get to hold my baby for 17days and I got to kiss his little face on the 17th day as well. And Brayden, he knew his brother through the NICU window...he didn't get to touch him till we brought him home in September (about a week after he was due). Ethan was born in June. Preemies have to fight, they have to fight hard when they should not have to.

Ethan was a lucky little miracle. Unfortunately, there are some who are not so lucky! When Ethan was in Millers NICU I saw things that a mom SHOULD NEVER see. I witnessed the family of the baby next to him saying good bye to thier little one as they were turning off machines. I have witnessed a baby needed to be resuscitated and put on the ventilator and it goes on. A baby and their family should never have to go through this. A birth of a baby is supposed to be happy not full of sorrow. I dont think the NICU life will be something I can never forget...it will be part of us for always...including Brayden.

I love Ethan with everything I have and even though we all have been through hell...I have an amazing, strong little boy that I am proud to call my son. I would do it all over for him. His first smile brought tears to my eyes, I will cherish all his firsts!

I hope one day we can find a way to have every baby born "healthy", I hope the day comes that babies don't have to fight for their lives instead they can all have the "perfect" birthday. I hope one day all mothers get to leave the hospital with their little babies. Thank you March of Dimes for fighting for these little ones!

Not what we expected...at all!

So I was talking to one of my best friends today on the phone after Ethan's surgery and she told us that we should go and buy a lottery ticket. Everything that has happened to us in the past 5 months has been rare....like doctors seldom see it! My complication with Ethan's pregnancy only happens to 1% of pregnant women (more on that and the birth story post soon) and now!

Around 10:30am this morning Ethan went into surgery. The plan was to go in there and remove the scar tissue that they thought was causing the partial obstruction and look at it to make sure there wasn't any damaged intestines. When the surgeon went in he realized it was something completely different. When Ethan was in the NICU he had a surgery to place a VP shunt to guide the fluid that his brain wasn't absorbing into his tummy. Well it turns out that the end of the VP shunt(which is in the abdomen) had created a puesdocyst in his abdomen that was so big that it was putting pressure on his intestines which caused them to get inflamed and didn't allow his food to go down. This is rare and if it happens it usually happens to people who have an "old" shunt (been in there for years) His shunt was placed in August...so its considered new.

Before he went in, they prepared us for the worst which included damaged intestines and so on. So in a way this can be considered decent news we guess. So right now, he has to stay in the hospital. They want to monitor him and make sure the inflammation goes down. Once that happens, his neurosurgeon will move the end of the shunt to a new location then hopefully he can come home!

We are kind of frustrated because the past two weeks of him in that hospital were spent watching him and hoping it would fix itself. They took so many x-rays of his tummy and it turns out that if they would have done an ultrasound, like Jon had been asking for the last two weeks, they would have found it and he would have been in surgery two weeks ago to fix all this.

Otherwise, he is gaining weight well! He smiles all the time...usually when I walk in and start talking to him he smiles. I love it! The nurses comment on how happy he is all the time. He loves to be held and loves a little bouncer chair they have there for him. We are blessed with an amazing child and even though the start of his life has been hard on him we know in our hearts that he will have an incredible life. His past two admissions were due to his tummy issues. I'm hopeful that this will all be in our past soon.

Continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers pretty please...that everything goes smoothly while he is in the hospital.

and another one...

Tomorrow morning around 10, Ethan will be going into another surgery. The last one was for his hernia and this one is to fix a partial blockage they found.(probably some scar tissue he has in his tummy) They are pretty positive this is the reason for all his tummy problems. Just keep the little one in your thoughts and prayers please!

Thank you!!!

Prematurity Awareness Month

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and if you think about it...its the perfect month. Its a month that everyone stops and thinks about everything they are thankful of. I am thankful for my little boy who has fought so hard to overcome all obstacles thrown at him.

November 17th is Awareness day...A day to reach out to everyone and make them aware of how serious prematurity is. I have signed up on Bloggers Unite and will blog that day about awareness and of course about my preemie. Before Ethan, I didn't know much about prematurity and I didn't realize how many premature babies are born every year. 1 in every 8 babies will be premature and the numbers keep climbing! It is a cause that is so near and dear to me now. The goal of the March of Dimes is that one day all babies can be born healthy! I am ready to help with that fight! :)

If you want to learn more about prematurity or to help with the cause please check out the March of Dimes website. They have some interesting facts. Later this month, I will write about Ethan's birth story. I did everything I thought I could do to have a healthy pregnancy and to keep Ethan safe in my tummy but sometimes I guess it is out of our control. When we think about "prematurity" alot of times people think drug addicts or a mother who just didn't care. But lot of those babies out there that are fighting for their life have mothers who did everything "right"...I can go on about how having a preemie has affected me but I will save that for another post. :)

Our little 28 weeker miracle...about a week and half old :)

He is amazing!

Ethan's surgery went well! It took about two hours (two LONG hours) and he is resting comfortably now. We got there around 8:30am and were able to spend about two hours with him before walking him to the OR. (pictures below) He was a awake and smiling :)

It is a surgery that is done everyday on babies so I was trying not to freak out but as the time went on I was getting more and more impatient and worried but the surgeon came out with a smile on his face and I was finally able to relax.

He will still be at the hospital for a little bit. One of the reasons we had to bring him in was poor weight gain. So now we have to figure out why he isn't gaining weight like he should be. They have a few ideas and hopefully we can get an exact cause soon and we can go from there. He has an awesome GI team following him and they are working hard to get him all better and get him home to us soon!

Here are two pictures from this morning...

On his way to the OR...he was looking at me and holding his pacifier :)

My boys and I...before his surgery

Keep the little one in your thoughts :)

10 am on Thursday morning Ethan will be going into surgery to finally get his hernia's fixed. Just keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you!!!