The day that I found out I was pregnant, was an amazing day. My best friend found out she was pregnant on the same day...we spent the whole day planning on how to tell the husbands when they got home. I envisioned the birthday, holding my baby, kissing the little face and how I would introduce the baby to the big brother. None of that happened. My "perfect" pregnancy came crashing down the thursday before I had Ethan. That is the day I learned this pregnancy was high risk. I was told that I might end up on bedrest soon and the chances of pre term labor goes up a bit. Little did I know (and my doctor) that the following night I would start with contractions and be rushed to the operating on Tuesday. (More on the birth story soon...i promise)
He didn't get that perfect birthday! I didn't get to hold my baby for 17days and I got to kiss his little face on the 17th day as well. And Brayden, he knew his brother through the NICU window...he didn't get to touch him till we brought him home in September (about a week after he was due). Ethan was born in June. Preemies have to fight, they have to fight hard when they should not have to.
Ethan was a lucky little miracle. Unfortunately, there are some who are not so lucky! When Ethan was in Millers NICU I saw things that a mom SHOULD NEVER see. I witnessed the family of the baby next to him saying good bye to thier little one as they were turning off machines. I have witnessed a baby needed to be resuscitated and put on the ventilator and it goes on. A baby and their family should never have to go through this. A birth of a baby is supposed to be happy not full of sorrow. I dont think the NICU life will be something I can never forget...it will be part of us for always...including Brayden.
I love Ethan with everything I have and even though we all have been through hell...I have an amazing, strong little boy that I am proud to call my son. I would do it all over for him. His first smile brought tears to my eyes, I will cherish all his firsts!
I hope one day we can find a way to have every baby born "healthy", I hope the day comes that babies don't have to fight for their lives instead they can all have the "perfect" birthday. I hope one day all mothers get to leave the hospital with their little babies. Thank you March of Dimes for fighting for these little ones!
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