Here we go again...

We had him home for 9 days...ugh! He is back into the hospital. It is his tummy issues again. About a week and a half ago we started him on a new formula to fortify his milk with and it fixed the "gas" problem in his tummy but it started making him throw up. Every feed he would throw up! So we took him to his doctor and they mentioned how they think it is severe acid reflux...I wasn't convinced that it was the cause so this past weekend I decided to stop the formula and just give him milk. he did well with it...never threw it up. But the problem is since he is an ex-preemie he needs more calories than just milk can give him...so we will have to find a formula that works with him. Anyways, from the whole week of throwing up he ended up losing SOOOO much weight and became dehydrated.

Yesterday I went to pick up Brayden from preschool and I had ethan hooked up to his apnea monitor and his heart rate alarm started going off. This apnea machine was sent home with us when he left the NICU for when he sleeps. He never has any apnea spells or he never bradys (low heart rate). It never ever went off before...I knew something was wrong.  So I took him to urgent care and his temp was a little low so they sent me to the ER. When she said it...it was instant tears. I knew he would be admitted...AGAIN! So I went and sure enough because he lost so much weight and dehydrated they kept him. They are also thinking there is a little obstruction in his tummy that is stopping all the food to go through the intestines and absorb the nutrients. He has a hernia and that can very well be the answer to all this tummy trouble.We had orginally chosen his surgery date for the on the 16th of Nov but now we are going to do it this admission. The rest of this week will be focus on trying to put the weight back on...once the surgeon thinks he is strong enough he will go in and fix the hernia's. If that is the cause of the blockage we will start feeds again and focus on finding a formula that he is not allergic too and then bring our little man home from the hospital for hopefully the last time!

I am so thankful to Millers children Hospital for my little miracle but I am just so over going there! The question that EVERYONE keeps asking me is how I am holding up. I gave birth to my little boy in June and I have had him home for a total of 2 weeks...so here it is I'm hurting so much, I am sad and broken. I feel a little empty inside. Life with a newborn isn't supposed to be like this. Ethan, Brayden Jon and I deserve so much more. That being said...Brayden is giving me the strength to get through my days. He makes me smile and he comforts me. If I am crying he rubs my back and tells me "its okay mommy" "I love you mommy". He makes me realize that one day this will be my past.

A couple days ago we took the boys to the pumpkin patch and I have some pictures in my camera. I will try to post them tonight or tomorrow.

Keep lil Ethan in your prayers...Thank you!