One minute we are living the perfect life and the next we are back in hell. I don't understand how life after the NICU can still be an up and down rollercoaster. The doctors told us that many NICU grads come back to the hospital after discharge but I guess I didn't want to believe it at the time.
So Ethan is back in. He was home for one week...just one week. The last time he was readmitted it was for a viral infection (a cold) and now its for something with his intestines. Something that preemies and newborns can get...but with preemies more. THANK GOD we caught it in time because it can be alot worse but still its just not fair. We just want both our boys home with us, I want to be that family that I envisioned when we found out we were expecting Ethan. The family that everyone else I know has...the whole family at home. Anyways, the plan of attack right now is stopping feeds for 7 to 10 days and antibiotics. After the 7 or 10 days they will begin feeds again and if he tolerates that then he can come home. It is a slow recovery but the doctor is completely optimistic. So here we go again. Poor Ethan, my son deserves so much more from his life right now. All I keep thinking is if only I could have kept him in a little longer...maybe alot of this could have been avoided. It turned out to be a dangerous pregnancy and I realize that he needed to come out but alot of "what ifs" keep going through my mind. But he is strong and has fought off so much and we are so proud of him. He is an amazing little boy.
So I'm sorry to my friends and family now if I am distant these next few weeks...life will be all about juggling time between my two boys. I just pray that this is the last time we need to take him back in.
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