A year ago...

I found out I was pregnant with Ethan. It was an amazing time in my life. I remember being on the phone with my best friend and we found out together. We never thought we would get pregnant right away...let alone around the same time. Jon was at work so I put a "Big Brother" shirt on Brayden under his pj's...sent Jon upstairs to change Brayden's diaper before bedtime. He unzipped his pj's and saw the shirt. He read it outloud and then read it again outloud and yelled out for me...I came walking into the room crying with joy. He grabbed Brayden and we just hugged. We were so excited. Little did we know what was in store for us. I would not trade anything that has happened because we have Ethan. Do I wish his birth was different...HELL YES. Do I wish the first six months of his life was easier and happier times....HELL YES. But at the end of the day we have an amazing 6 month old who is the happiest baby ever! If you were to see him right now he doesn't look or act like he has been through hell.

So Ethan is still in the hospital. He was supposed to be discharged last Friday but something in one of his test results came back from a sample taken a month ago that surprised everyone and left the doctors confused. So they decided to postpone the surgery that would reinternilize the shunt. So here is a quick recap of his time at the hospital. The very end of Oct we had to bring him to the hospital because of tummy issues that took them about 30 days to figure out. Once they figured that out he ended up developing a rare infection...they caught it in time so that was a blessing. During that time they were unable to reinternilize the shunt because shunts can make an infection ALOT worse. So last Wed he was scheduled to put the shunt back in. Well 30 min before the surgery (yes 30 min!!!!) the lab called and said that a result from a sample they took a month ago showed another kind of infection. SERIOUSLY??? We were devastated cause they called off the surgery and all the hope of him coming home for Christmas came crashing down. Nothing about this "new infection" made sense. Its an infection that needs antibiotics to cure or it will get worse, he was doing better than ever. His number didn't show an infection, he didn't have any fever or wasn't acting sick. The sample they took two days prior to that sample and a couple days after came back negative. It just didn't make sense but because they had this new information they couldn't go along with the surgery. They think it was contaminated or maybe it was just in the old shunt and never got in the body. So last week they took another sample and just waiting for those results to come back so we can find out if we can go ahead with the surgery and get him home! I seriously have no idea why or how things happen anymore, I am just living each day as it comes with no expectations.

The good news is he is doing awesome! He smiles, laughs, coos, reaches for things and grabs things. He eats 4 oz about every 2 and a half hours and finishes his bottle in less than 10 min. (Used to take him 25 min...big improvement) He recognizes his big brother and smiles the second he sees him. (Brayden only gets to see him once a week). He loves to blow bubbles and lucky for me Brayden thought it was funny so now he does it too. Its cute when a baby does it but not so cute when a 2 and a half year old does it :) He tries to roll over but he has an iv in his leg which makes it almost impossible.

Just keep us in your prayers and hopefully he can have his surgery soon and come home! Hopefully all that makes sense...its been a confusing few months.

Here is a picture of my two boys...I think they look alike in this pic. It might be the big blue eyes ;)

Happy Holidays from the Burns Family!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Love,

Jon, Aimee, Brayden and Ethan

p.s...I will update about Ethan right after the holiday!

Lets go shopping!

A friend of mine just informed me that if you go to http://www.borders.com/ today December 3rd and tomorrow December 4th a portion of sales will go to the March of Dimes! At checkout just enter the promotional code MDBM1234A. Gonna go shopping now :)

Where have we been? :)

So its been a while since I posted an update about Ethan...and to tell you the truth I just haven't had the energy to write everything. Ethan is still in the hospital...clinically he is doing awesome. We took him in for tummy issues and they finally figured it out about 2 weeks ago. He had the surgery, the inflammation went down and he has been gaining weight and tolerating his feeds. So that part is fixed!

During that tummy surgery they had to externalize the shunt to give his tummy some rest...during that they started to notice that his head was absorbing alot of the fluid by itself. Which is really good! So they wanted to keep him there to see if he can do it on his own. Which was fine by us...no shunt is a miracle. They have never seen a baby not become dependent on the shunt. Well while we were waiting, his routine blood work/csf work started to come back a little abnormal. He was doing fine...smiling, alert and doing everything a baby does but those numbers were still not coming back normal. They couldn't figure it out! Ugh it was so frustrating. Well they just figured it out...he has an infection. Kind of a rare one for his age group.
The treatment is kind of long(medicine) but thankfully it can be finished at home. We are just waiting for them to see where the infection is in his body, they have to treat it a bit at the hospital and then we will know if he can do well without the shunt. Their goal is have him home to us by Christmas...please PRAY that this happens...please please please :)

He is doing well...if they were not running labs on him we wouldn't have known. He doesn't act like he has an infection at all!

Hope all that makes sense...I'm a little tired.

Thankful in so many ways...

Happy Thanksgiving! I know I am a day late but its never to late to say what your thankful...right? :)
I have SO much to be thankful for this year.

I am so thankful for my husband. He has been my rock this year. Thank you Jon for holding me, comforting me when I was down, coming to my rescue no matter where you are when I am emotionally broken, telling me everyday (especially when I needed to hear it the most) how good of a mom I am. Not sure where I would be if I didn't have you in my life.

I am so thankful for my children. I am truly amazed on how strong, smart, independent, happy and loving you both are. Brayden you make my heart melt every time time you grab my face to kiss me and tell me you love me. I love how much of a momma's boy you are :) Ethan...where do I start! You are only 5 months old and you are the strongest person I know. When I am feeling down I think about how truly amazing/strong you are...how nothing pulls you down! You have been through so much yet you smile ALL THE time. I am in love with my boys! ( I could go on but I am already in tears :) )

I am thankful for our family! My parents and brother... Thank you for everything you have done to help us. Thank you for listening to me when I needed you...and coming to the hospital with me when I didn't want to be by myself. Even though I am 28... I still need you guys! I love you guys!!!
Thankful for my mother in law who goes out of her way to bring me lunch when should knows I probably wont have time, for being there when we need you and for the emotional support! My Sis in law sister who drives 45 min just to come hug me if I need it. I love you...

I am so thankful for my friends!! The ones I have had since I was a little girl to the new ones I have made these past few months. Thank you for Listening to me as cry! Dropping everything to help my family. For the giftcards when Ethan was in hospital (my amazing friends from my moms group!), for checking up on me, for helping me take my mind off of everything. For watching Brayden when I needed a babysitter...list goes on!

I am also so thankful for the people who read my blog, who keep my family in their thoughts and prayers! I know there are so many people out there that I do not know personally but who keep Ethan in their prayers everyday. I have received cards and emails from people just to let me know they think about us. You have no idea what that means to us. To know people all of the world keep Ethan in their prayers...literally around the world. They mentioned Ethan in a special mass in rome...seriously he has so many people behind him helping him everyday! You have no idea how thankful we are for you guys!

I am so thankful for Millers Children hospital and all the amazing doctors and nurses in the NICU. You are the reason I have an amazing little ex preemie in my life. Thank you so much...we became close to a few nurses and one doctor...you guys helped Jon and I get through something so difficult and you helped keep our head up! I will forever be thankful!

I am truly blessed and sad that it took something like this for me to really realize how lucky I am.

Fight for Preemies..Prematurity Awareness Day!

The day that I found out I was pregnant, was an amazing day. My best friend found out she was pregnant on the same day...we spent the whole day planning on how to tell the husbands when they got home. I envisioned the birthday, holding my baby, kissing the little face and how I would introduce the baby to the big brother. None of that happened. My "perfect" pregnancy came crashing down the thursday before I had Ethan. That is the day I learned this pregnancy was high risk. I was told that I might end up on bedrest soon and the chances of pre term labor goes up a bit. Little did I know (and my doctor) that the following night I would start with contractions and be rushed to the operating on Tuesday. (More on the birth story soon...i promise)

He didn't get that perfect birthday! I didn't get to hold my baby for 17days and I got to kiss his little face on the 17th day as well. And Brayden, he knew his brother through the NICU window...he didn't get to touch him till we brought him home in September (about a week after he was due). Ethan was born in June. Preemies have to fight, they have to fight hard when they should not have to.

Ethan was a lucky little miracle. Unfortunately, there are some who are not so lucky! When Ethan was in Millers NICU I saw things that a mom SHOULD NEVER see. I witnessed the family of the baby next to him saying good bye to thier little one as they were turning off machines. I have witnessed a baby needed to be resuscitated and put on the ventilator and it goes on. A baby and their family should never have to go through this. A birth of a baby is supposed to be happy not full of sorrow. I dont think the NICU life will be something I can never forget...it will be part of us for always...including Brayden.

I love Ethan with everything I have and even though we all have been through hell...I have an amazing, strong little boy that I am proud to call my son. I would do it all over for him. His first smile brought tears to my eyes, I will cherish all his firsts!

I hope one day we can find a way to have every baby born "healthy", I hope the day comes that babies don't have to fight for their lives instead they can all have the "perfect" birthday. I hope one day all mothers get to leave the hospital with their little babies. Thank you March of Dimes for fighting for these little ones!

Not what we expected...at all!

So I was talking to one of my best friends today on the phone after Ethan's surgery and she told us that we should go and buy a lottery ticket. Everything that has happened to us in the past 5 months has been rare....like doctors seldom see it! My complication with Ethan's pregnancy only happens to 1% of pregnant women (more on that and the birth story post soon) and now!

Around 10:30am this morning Ethan went into surgery. The plan was to go in there and remove the scar tissue that they thought was causing the partial obstruction and look at it to make sure there wasn't any damaged intestines. When the surgeon went in he realized it was something completely different. When Ethan was in the NICU he had a surgery to place a VP shunt to guide the fluid that his brain wasn't absorbing into his tummy. Well it turns out that the end of the VP shunt(which is in the abdomen) had created a puesdocyst in his abdomen that was so big that it was putting pressure on his intestines which caused them to get inflamed and didn't allow his food to go down. This is rare and if it happens it usually happens to people who have an "old" shunt (been in there for years) His shunt was placed in August...so its considered new.

Before he went in, they prepared us for the worst which included damaged intestines and so on. So in a way this can be considered decent news we guess. So right now, he has to stay in the hospital. They want to monitor him and make sure the inflammation goes down. Once that happens, his neurosurgeon will move the end of the shunt to a new location then hopefully he can come home!

We are kind of frustrated because the past two weeks of him in that hospital were spent watching him and hoping it would fix itself. They took so many x-rays of his tummy and it turns out that if they would have done an ultrasound, like Jon had been asking for the last two weeks, they would have found it and he would have been in surgery two weeks ago to fix all this.

Otherwise, he is gaining weight well! He smiles all the time...usually when I walk in and start talking to him he smiles. I love it! The nurses comment on how happy he is all the time. He loves to be held and loves a little bouncer chair they have there for him. We are blessed with an amazing child and even though the start of his life has been hard on him we know in our hearts that he will have an incredible life. His past two admissions were due to his tummy issues. I'm hopeful that this will all be in our past soon.

Continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers pretty please...that everything goes smoothly while he is in the hospital.

and another one...

Tomorrow morning around 10, Ethan will be going into another surgery. The last one was for his hernia and this one is to fix a partial blockage they found.(probably some scar tissue he has in his tummy) They are pretty positive this is the reason for all his tummy problems. Just keep the little one in your thoughts and prayers please!

Thank you!!!

Prematurity Awareness Month

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and if you think about it...its the perfect month. Its a month that everyone stops and thinks about everything they are thankful of. I am thankful for my little boy who has fought so hard to overcome all obstacles thrown at him.

November 17th is Awareness day...A day to reach out to everyone and make them aware of how serious prematurity is. I have signed up on Bloggers Unite and will blog that day about awareness and of course about my preemie. Before Ethan, I didn't know much about prematurity and I didn't realize how many premature babies are born every year. 1 in every 8 babies will be premature and the numbers keep climbing! It is a cause that is so near and dear to me now. The goal of the March of Dimes is that one day all babies can be born healthy! I am ready to help with that fight! :)

If you want to learn more about prematurity or to help with the cause please check out the March of Dimes website. They have some interesting facts. Later this month, I will write about Ethan's birth story. I did everything I thought I could do to have a healthy pregnancy and to keep Ethan safe in my tummy but sometimes I guess it is out of our control. When we think about "prematurity" alot of times people think drug addicts or a mother who just didn't care. But lot of those babies out there that are fighting for their life have mothers who did everything "right"...I can go on about how having a preemie has affected me but I will save that for another post. :)

Our little 28 weeker miracle...about a week and half old :)

He is amazing!

Ethan's surgery went well! It took about two hours (two LONG hours) and he is resting comfortably now. We got there around 8:30am and were able to spend about two hours with him before walking him to the OR. (pictures below) He was a awake and smiling :)

It is a surgery that is done everyday on babies so I was trying not to freak out but as the time went on I was getting more and more impatient and worried but the surgeon came out with a smile on his face and I was finally able to relax.

He will still be at the hospital for a little bit. One of the reasons we had to bring him in was poor weight gain. So now we have to figure out why he isn't gaining weight like he should be. They have a few ideas and hopefully we can get an exact cause soon and we can go from there. He has an awesome GI team following him and they are working hard to get him all better and get him home to us soon!

Here are two pictures from this morning...

On his way to the OR...he was looking at me and holding his pacifier :)

My boys and I...before his surgery

Keep the little one in your thoughts :)

10 am on Thursday morning Ethan will be going into surgery to finally get his hernia's fixed. Just keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you!!!

Halloween fun!

Before Ethan had to go back into the hospital we took the boys to pick out a pumpkin. Ethan was sleeping the whole time but Brayden had fun with daddy picking out his pumpkin. Brayden loves them...well he loves everything about a pumpkin except for the "guts". We tried to get him to help us clean it out and he refused. Heaven forbid he got pumpkin stuff on his precious little hands :) Below are a few pictures of our day.



Picking one out...



Resting...picking out pumpkin's is hard work!

Mommy and Brayden



Sleeping away...He looks so small here. He lost some weight from being sick   :(



First and last time touching the pumpkin "guts"

Can't wait till he is home again!

The Halloween fun continues! Brayden had some Halloween festivities today at school. He dressed up and all the little kiddos walked in a parade for all the parents. It was the cutest thing ever...they were all so adorable! After they took some class pictures and then went Trunk-or-treating! Some parents decorated the back of their car and the kids went to each car and got some candy.
Brayden was a dinosaur...he was so adorable! Since I was at school today he cried a bit cause he wanted me but overall he had a blast. I can't wait to take him trick or treating on Sunday with his BFF's, Brody and Brandon! They are all going to be little dinosaurs! Check out some pictures of today!

Our cute little Dinosaur

Walking in the parade.

He just realized I was there :)

His whole costume...tail and all!

Lining up for class pictures...he is next to Brody

Trunk or treat time!

Erin decorated her trunk and baby Gavin was the main attraction. Cow costume and all :)

Here we go again...

We had him home for 9 days...ugh! He is back into the hospital. It is his tummy issues again. About a week and a half ago we started him on a new formula to fortify his milk with and it fixed the "gas" problem in his tummy but it started making him throw up. Every feed he would throw up! So we took him to his doctor and they mentioned how they think it is severe acid reflux...I wasn't convinced that it was the cause so this past weekend I decided to stop the formula and just give him milk. he did well with it...never threw it up. But the problem is since he is an ex-preemie he needs more calories than just milk can give him...so we will have to find a formula that works with him. Anyways, from the whole week of throwing up he ended up losing SOOOO much weight and became dehydrated.

Yesterday I went to pick up Brayden from preschool and I had ethan hooked up to his apnea monitor and his heart rate alarm started going off. This apnea machine was sent home with us when he left the NICU for when he sleeps. He never has any apnea spells or he never bradys (low heart rate). It never ever went off before...I knew something was wrong.  So I took him to urgent care and his temp was a little low so they sent me to the ER. When she said it...it was instant tears. I knew he would be admitted...AGAIN! So I went and sure enough because he lost so much weight and dehydrated they kept him. They are also thinking there is a little obstruction in his tummy that is stopping all the food to go through the intestines and absorb the nutrients. He has a hernia and that can very well be the answer to all this tummy trouble.We had orginally chosen his surgery date for the on the 16th of Nov but now we are going to do it this admission. The rest of this week will be focus on trying to put the weight back on...once the surgeon thinks he is strong enough he will go in and fix the hernia's. If that is the cause of the blockage we will start feeds again and focus on finding a formula that he is not allergic too and then bring our little man home from the hospital for hopefully the last time!

I am so thankful to Millers children Hospital for my little miracle but I am just so over going there! The question that EVERYONE keeps asking me is how I am holding up. I gave birth to my little boy in June and I have had him home for a total of 2 weeks...so here it is I'm hurting so much, I am sad and broken. I feel a little empty inside. Life with a newborn isn't supposed to be like this. Ethan, Brayden Jon and I deserve so much more. That being said...Brayden is giving me the strength to get through my days. He makes me smile and he comforts me. If I am crying he rubs my back and tells me "its okay mommy" "I love you mommy". He makes me realize that one day this will be my past.

A couple days ago we took the boys to the pumpkin patch and I have some pictures in my camera. I will try to post them tonight or tomorrow.

Keep lil Ethan in your prayers...Thank you!

Never give up

So Ethan is back home...again. Yay! He was in this time for about 2 weeks. It was for tummy issues...his tummy was getting super big and the xrays were showing a massive amount of gas. So they would stop feeds, put him on iv's so they can help his tummy go back down. Then they would start feeds again with pedylite and he would do great, then move to milk and once again he would do great then they would start fortifying it with formula and his tummy would get big again. So about a week ago we asked if they could change the formula and the GI doc wasn't even giving it a thought! She said no, it has to be something else. So they continued giving that formula and would have to once again stop his feeds, put him on IV and so on. And another big issue was he wasn't gaining any weight. We were so PISSED because our gut was saying it was the formula and they wouldn't change it. One bad thing about the hospital, we are at their mercy...they get the final call! So finally after begging, arguing, crying and a new GI doc we finally convinced them to try another formula that wasn't milk based. They tried it yesterday and now he is home. He did well with it and it turned out to be a cow's milk protein allergy. We were his only advocate and we believed so strongly that the problem was his formula and we fought till we were blue in the face and it payed off! I was mad because we could have had him home sooner but I'm not going to dwell. I have my son home and we are soooo happy.

I will update with some pictures soon...just getting back into the routine of having two at home again :)

Wordless Wednesday: Missing the lil bro

Little Houdini...aka Brayden

We have had some problems these past few days when it comes to putting Brayden to bed at night. It usually happens when Ethan is in the hospital. Since we moved Brayden into his "big boy bed" we have been putting the gate up at his door to help keep him inside his room. The gate worked great...until last night. He kissed his daddy good night and him and I went into his room. I read him his books (two dinosaur and a prayer book) and then like always give him a kiss and leave. Well he cried and screamed and that went on for a good 10- 15 min...then it was silent. So I gave it a few more minute and went to check on him and this is what I found. Excuse the HORRIBLE lighting, it was taken from my cell phone.

This is Brayden sleeping outside his room on the other side of the gate. The gate was in tact...it wasn't pushed or anything. My mom asked him today how he ended up sleeping outside his room and he showed us. He climbs over it and even uses the banister to help him get over it. It does not look like a tall gate in the picture but it is.  He sure knows how to make me smile!

Ethan Update

Ethan has been doing really well and not feeding him has actually helped him out alot. The doctors are not convinced that he has what they originally diagnosed him with (figures) but since he is responding well to the tummy rest they decided to continue. Originally they said no eating for 7 to 10 days but the doctor mentioned maybe trying food sooner...maybe today and see how his body responds.

The reason they admitted him was because he had some inflammation in his intestines and they have been monitoring it daily with xrays and so far the xrays have been showing progress each day and yesterday it showed little to none inflammation. So his little body is on the right track. Since they stopped his bottle feedings, he has an IV that gives him nutrients and lipids. Everything our body needs on a daily basis. So he is getting the nutrition needed and he even gained a little weight from it :)

Its been pretty hard on us and especially Brayden...we pulled up to the hospital the other day and he said "Ethan's house"! I bursted into tears. Its what he knows. His little immune system will be stronger soon so these little setbacks won't land him in hospital eachtime and Brayden will have his brother at home and he will call home as "Brayden and Ethan's house"!

Not sure how to feel anymore

One minute we are living the perfect life and the next we are back in hell. I don't understand how life after the NICU can still be an up and down rollercoaster. The doctors told us that many NICU grads come back to the hospital after discharge but I guess I didn't want to believe it at the time.

So Ethan is back in. He was home for one week...just one week. The last time he was readmitted it was for a viral infection (a cold) and now its for something with his intestines. Something that preemies and newborns can get...but with preemies more. THANK GOD we caught it in time because it can be alot worse but still its just not fair. We just want both our boys home with us, I want to be that family that I envisioned when we found out we were expecting Ethan. The family that everyone else I know has...the whole family at home. Anyways, the plan of attack right now is stopping feeds for 7 to 10 days and antibiotics. After the 7 or 10 days they will begin feeds again and if he tolerates that then he can come home. It is a slow recovery but the doctor is completely optimistic. So here we go again. Poor Ethan, my son deserves so much more from his life right now. All I keep thinking is if only I could have kept him in a little longer...maybe alot of this could have been avoided. It turned out to be a dangerous pregnancy and I realize that he needed to come out but alot of "what ifs" keep going through my mind. But he is strong and has fought off so much and we are so proud of him. He is an amazing little boy.

So I'm sorry to my friends and family now if I am distant these next few weeks...life will be all about juggling time between my two boys. I just pray that this is the last time we need to take him back in.

Spoiled with hugs & kisses

We are living the best days of our lives. With our two boys at home it is never a dull moment and every second that goes by makes us love life even more. Ethan has been spoiled with lots of little hugs and kisses and you would think it would mostly be coming from Jon and I but Mr. Brayden has us beat. He is in love with his little brother and constantly wants to kiss him and hug him...its adorable. Since Ethan's immune system is not the best we are constantly washing our hands and Brayden has become a little anal about it to. He constantly wants to wash his hands or sanitize them. He is seriously such a good big brother to Ethan.

Ethan had his first pediatrician appointment last Friday and it was not that eventful. It was them kind of getting caught up with Ethan's first 3 months and making sure he looked good...which he did. Right now my main focus is making sure he keeps gaining weight. When he was sick last week he lost lots of weight so its all about building that back up. When he was at the hospital they were only giving him about 2 oz of milk and the first day he was home we moved him up a little at a time and now he is at 3oz each feed...2oz was not cutting it for him anymore.

I have his routine down pretty good...he sleeps pretty much all morning and wakes up for his feedings but then afternoon time is party time in Ethan's world...especially during the time we eat dinner. His swing or bouncer doesn't work...this little one wants to be held and were okay with it. In our arms is where he wants to be! He eats about every two to three hours and goes a little longer during the night. Tomorrow is going to be the first time that I will have to take both boys out with just me...so hopefully Brayden can make it to preschool on time :)

Ethan's likes:

• Being held
• pacifier
• tummy time
• brayden singing "twinkle twinkle little star" to him
• falling asleep on big brother
• getting hair brushed after bathtime

Ethan's Dislikes:

• Bathtime
• diaper changing
• taking his multivitamins in the morning

Here are a few pictures of my boys :)



Not the best picture...was taken from my cell phone



Love his expressions...here he is waiting on the doctor



Kisses...



And some hugs

Brothers

Home...again!

Our little monkey is home again. He got discharged yesterday and doing so well. He was there a few extra days because they wanted to repeat a sleep study and then we had to wait for the results. But he is home now and we are enjoying our time as a family of four! Jon took a few days off so we are making the most of it. We are so happy and we are loving every second. Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers and support!

Tomorrow is his first pediatrician appointment...i'll update this weekend on that :)

Just when we thought things were starting to be wonderful...

Ethan winds up having to go back into the hospital. Last week we brought him home on Monday night and that night was perfect. He woke up every three hours to eat, slept and was a happy baby! Tuesday morning he woke up and he was fine but as the day went on he started being a little more lethargic and eating less and less. I had to wake him for his feedings and he was just not interested. He also started with a low grade fever. By the time Jon came home from work his fever had started going up in the low 100's and by 9 it was at 101.5. We knew something was not right, especially when cool washcloths and removing his clothes were not working anymore. So we took him to the ER...at the Los Alamitos Hospital. (worst mistake ever)

We never thought they would actually need to admit him so we didn't take him to Millers in Long Beach we just went to the closest hospital. It turns out that if a newborn comes to the ER with a fever over 100.4 (preemie or full term) and it wont go down they need to admit them. Well, Los Alamitos does not have a pediatrics ward so we had to get transferred. Since they already started all blood tests, we were not allowed to just leave. We had to wait for Los Al to transfer us and it turned our Millers didn't have ONE bed available. UGH! So after 11 hours...yes you read that right 11 HOURS in the ER we were finally transferred to Millers. Poor baby was so dehydrated because Los Al didn't start an IV until about the 6th hour in the ER! I can actually write a whole post on how much I hate that hospital.

Anyways, once we got to Millers they ran a few more tests, we had a few scares about what could be wrong with him but it turned out to be a viral infection AKA a common cold to adults. He is still in the hospital because sadly it took so much out of him. It gave him a few setbacks and today was the first day that he started to actually look and act like our little Ethan. So they want to run a couple more tests tomorrow, let him gain all his strength back and hopefully we will get him home again in a few days. We want to make sure that he is 120% before we take him home...we don't want to go back.

So this was actually the short story of our week. It was an emotionally draining week and Ethan deserves to have a normal life now! He has been through hell and back. But I have to say the 24 hours that I had both my boys under the same roof were the best 24 hours of my life! Can't wait for many, many more!

I will update when he comes home.

Here are a few pictures of Ethan's time at home...

First time meeting his brother...the doll in his hand is a Monkey he made for Ethan



Loves his little brother! The shaved area on Ethan's head is from his surgery

First bath at home

So adorable!

Home!

Its been a crazy past few days and I don't have much time right now but I did want to let everyone know we brought our little man home last night!!!! He had a great night at home and his big brother LOVES him...I mean kisses him every five min :) I will write more about the last few days when I get a chance and post some pics of Brayden meeting his little bro.



Here is a quick picture of Ethan at home:)



When a toddler finds your camera...

you find pictures like this when you upload.
He knows exactly what to do to make me smile. :)

 Close-up!

Perfect lips

And his perfect feet :)

"cheese"

Perfect Face

No more feeding tube yay! They have to run a few tests regarding his reflux...they need to see if thickening his milk will help and try a few other things. We will know more this week as to when he will be coming home :) Other than that is is doing well and just growing.

Here are two pictures...he has a full belly and is very content here :)

September Already?!?

Sorry I haven't been blogging much recently. Lets just say that trying to make time for two kiddos in two different places can make life crazy busy...but its worth every second. 

Tomorrow is Ethan's due date...September 2nd! Are we really here? Why isn't he home yet? The two questions I asked myself alot today and probably something everyone is wondering. He is so close but he had a little setback a few days back. Through out his stay at the hospital he was on a couple different medications and now that he is so close to coming home they decided it was time to start weaning him off some of them.
He is on something for his acid reflux...he will be coming home with that.
He was given caffeine (this is to help premature babies from having apnea spells) and was weaned off of that a few days ago.
The next medication was something for the fluid on his lungs (something else common with preemies). If there is fluid sitting on his lungs it makes it hard for him to breathe so the medication helped him pee it out. He has been on this medication since day one, so his kidneys never had to work to remove the fluid. They stopped giving him this a few days ago and since then the fluid came back...which was making it hard for him to breathe well which put a hault to him feeding from the bottle. He was just getting way to tired. We believe that it is slowly starting to fix itself because for the first time in about 3 days he was wanting to feed from the bottle today and took his full feed. Crossing fingers it stays this way! This set back was so discouraging for us because for days before he was doing so well with drinking his full feed from the bottle and they really thought he would be home before this weekend. It wont be happening now :( He is pacing himself great now...which is good cause that was his problem about a week ago.

Other than that he is just getting bigger as the days go by...he is about 6lbs 10oz now. We are also in the process of trying to move him back to the hospital where he was born. They only have 1 baby there vs the 100 babies at Millers NICU, so he would get the one on one care he needs right now to come home. His nurses now are one to three babies. We can't be there 24/7 for our baby so we need to make sure that he is getting held and cuddled like we would...when a nurse has two other babies to take care of he just does not get that cuddling. Just waiting for the insurance to say yes or no...we will see. The other hospital is alot closer to Jon's work so it would be so much easier for him to go to see him. All I know is we CAN NOT WAIT for us to get that call that he is going to be discharged! His parents need him home but most importantly his big brother needs to meet him!


Here are a few pictures of him from last night...

Look at those cheeks and that crazy hair. I tried to brush it to the side but it just wanted to stand up :)

Grower and Feeder

Ethan is doing so well! He is considered a grower and feeder now...he is doing well with the weight and is in the process of learning to eat from the bottle. He is up to 3 (out of 8) feedings a day trying from the bottle. He has taken his full feed from the bottle a couple times but usually its about 35cc's out of 51. In a previous post I mentioned that a baby has to learn how to suck, swallow and breathe while feeding and he has the concept down okay...he just needs to pace himself better so he doesn't get to tired. Its all a learning process for him and were hoping he just continues to do better...FAST :) Its actually a learning process for Jon and I too. Feeding Ethan with a bottle is no where near the same like it was feeding Brayden. We are learning the best way to hold a preemie during a feed (especially since he has acid reflux) and how to help pace him better. Once he can take all 8 feeds from the bottle he can come home. He makes progress every single day...they are thinking right after his due date which was Sept 2nd but in the end its all up to the little one. All babies are different when it comes to learning this skill and we just have to wait till he tells us he is ready. His occupational therapist said that when it finally clicks in their little brain they become little pros fast.

He is now at 6lbs 2oz! He has come a long way from 3 1/2lbs. He is wearing NB size clothes and diapers. Ethan has the cutest cheeks ever and has big eyes just like his big bro. His eye brows are blonde...like you cant even see them. I think he is going to be a Blondie YAY!!!!   He is not fussy at all and all the nurses rave about how happy of a baby he is and he loves his pacifier.

His neurosurgeon came in to see him two days ago and told the nurse that Ethan is doing so well and he is extremely happy with his progress and has signed off that he is good to go home on his end! Since this surgery he has been so alert and stays up alot longer during the day. There is no doubt that it was the best thing for him.

I think that is all the updates for right now. I know I have mentioned it before but we are so blessed that Ethan is doing well! He was born at 28 weeks 5 days (he practically missed a whole trimester) and has faced more in his two months then people do in a lifetime but he fought so hard and he has so many people who love him and praying for him that he was able to overcome so much! We are SO in LOVE with this little man!

2 Months!

Happy 2 Month Birthday to our little monkey! You are an amazing little boy and we fall more in love with you every single day! We can't wait till we can take you home and have our whole family together under one roof.

We love you SO MUCH...continue doing what your doing baby!

XO

Dada, Mama and Brayden

Birthday Wishes!

And so my birthday wish has came true...Ethan is off the oxygen! He is breathing completely on his own. The only thing on his face now is his feeding tube...now we need to focus on feedings so we can bring our little man home. Here are a couple pictures of him and us :)

Only one person missing...brayden! You can kind of see where the incision from his surgery is

So comfy!

Sleepy Baby

All I want...

For my birthday is to have both my sons home with me...but I will settle with Ethan being off oxygen :) (they are going to try to take him off tonight or tomorrow so cross your fingers please)

Tomorrow I turn 28 and I am so happy with where I am at in my life. I have an amazing husband, two little boys who are my everything, a house I call my own, a family who has been so supportive and friends who have dropped everything to help me out recently. I am blessed. I have to admit I was pretty sad earlier when I was thinking about not having Ethan home to celebrate my birthday with me...How can I be happy when he is at the hospital and not home with me? But as I was sitting there holding him today I realized that I am the luckiest mom in the world. I am holding my STABLE, THRIVING little fighter in my arms. Whether he is at home with me or not...I have him! I can't be selfish! He is getting stronger as the days go by and he will be coming home soon...I can't ask for more right now.

We have been working on feedings with him. He still gets most of his feedings through his feeding tube but he is learning with the bottle. We work with him everyday and he has the "suck, swallow and breathe" part of it down pretty good. We are working on building up his endurance right now. After about 5-10 min of sucking he gets tired...actually he falls asleep :) He stays up a little longer as the days go by so the occupational therapist is confident that he will build his endurance up quickly (praying this is true). Once he starts taking all his feedings by the bottle he will be ready to come home. The nurses told me that this can take a week to a couple weeks...but I am happy that this is his last step!!!!!!

I have been slacking, I do not have any new pictures of him. I will try to get some tomorrow :)

Ethan's new bed

This morning my brother came over early to spend some time with Brayden so Jon and I went to see Ethan. It was an amazing morning! It turns out early this morning they took Ethan out of his isolate and moved him into a little crib. There is no need for the isolate anymore since he maintains his body temperature on his own now. :) They removed his IV...so his arms are free! They have also moved up his feedings to 42ml's and he now weighs 5lbs 10oz's.

This was the first time that I was able to pick him up from his bed to hold him without a nurse in sight. Usually they needed to be there to make sure all his lines didn't pull and etc. First time that I felt in charge or a mom to him...like this is my baby not the nurses. (if that makes sense) Now that the surgery is done with we can start working on feeding him from the bottle again!

Here are a few pictures from this morning.

the only wires he has now is feeding tube and oxygen

His new crib...and if you look close you can see the picture of his big brother that he looks at :)